The Misunderstanding of a Moment
There are seasons in life when you're not at your best; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically. You might feel unclear, exhausted, or simply trying to survive. And somehow, it’s during these very seasons that people form the strongest opinions about who you are.
They meet you in your valley and assume that’s your permanent location. They witness your breakdown and assume that’s the full story. They grow attached to your uncertainty because that’s when you felt most accessible, most in need, and easiest to define.
They don’t see the you who’s rising. They only remember the you who was surviving.
When People Prefer You Small
This often shows up in new relationships. Someone meets you during a low season and builds a connection with the version of you that’s still healing. But instead of learning your full story; your values, beliefs, dreams, or character; they attach to that single chapter.
And when God begins to elevate you, something shifts. You start to grow. You get clearer. You develop a voice. You evolve.
And suddenly, the person who once loved you feels threatened. Not because you hurt them, but because your growth disrupts their identity in the relationship. They only know how to relate to the version of you who needed saving. Not the version who’s learning to rely on God for saving.
The Divine Disguise
But what if that season wasn’t punishment?
What if it was protection?
Sometimes God hides you in plain sight. You’re underestimated, misunderstood, even mishandled, not because you aren’t valuable, but because it isn’t yet your time to be seen in full. Some people were only meant to hold your lesson, not your legacy.
When God begins to reveal you, it’s not just your potential that comes to light, it’s their intentions too. And sometimes, the reveal is painful.
But here’s the hard truth:
The betrayal may be the breakthrough.
The rejection may be the release.
And the misunderstanding may be the mirror.
The Nervous System Knows
Living in misalignment doesn’t just impact your emotions, it affects your body. Dr. Mariel Buquè reminds us that long-term exposure to toxic dynamics can activate chronic survival mode. Being consistently minimized or misunderstood trains your nervous system to anticipate harm, even in safe spaces.
Symptoms like anxiety, fatigue, burnout, brain fog, or gut issues can all be rooted in emotional suppression or spiritual misalignment.
This is why discernment is not just spiritual, it’s biological.
Your body keeps score. It knows when a space is safe. It knows when a person’s energy is regulating or chaotic. The more you ignore that wisdom, the more disconnected you become from your intuition.
You Are Not Your Low Season
If you're reading this and you're in that space or healing from it, this is your reminder:
You are not defined by your lowest chapter.
You are not obligated to stay where you once needed help.
You are not responsible for making others comfortable with your limitations.
People who try to keep you small were never meant to witness your fullness. That’s okay. Let them misunderstand. Let them miss the reveal. Let God handle the exposure.
You are not stuck. You are not lost. You are being refined.
Practical Guidance for the Journey Back to You
1. Strengthen your discernment.
Reflect after every interaction. Ask: Do I feel seen or tolerated? Energized or drained?
2. Reset your nervous system.
Daily practices like deep breathing, walking in nature, unplugging, or journaling can help restore regulation.
3. Redefine your standards.
Write a new rubric for who gets to access you in this season. Let your boundaries reflect your healing.
4. Let grief and clarity coexist.
It’s okay to be sad and sure. Mourning and moving on can happen at the same time.
5. Reconnect with your Source.
Turn back to your divinity, discover God for yourself and re-ground yourself in a truth that transcends your current season.
Rise Anyway
People will try to keep you where they met you.
But you were never meant to stay there.
You are not who you were in survival.
You are allowed to evolve and not apologize for it.
So rise. Softly. Boldly. Divinely.
And let the people who were only meant for your cocoon fall away when your wings emerge.
Reference List for Further Exploration
Dr. Mariel Buquè – nervous system health and spiritual discernment
Dr. Thema Bryant – betrayal recovery and emotional clarity
Queen Afua – sacred wellness and energetic protection
bell hooks – self-awareness and choosing love with wisdom
Iyanla Vanzant – spiritual contracts and divine timing
Sobonfu Somé – spiritual purpose and transitional healing
Disclaimer: Only one or two sources may be directly quoted or referenced in the body of each essay. The full list above is provided for those interested in deeper exploration of the ideas and traditions that inform this work.